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My two younger children and I had had a chance to go on a pilgrimage trip to Rome, Lourdes, and Fatima recently. It was the first time in my life and my children’s to experience Your presence so intimately and to witness solid faith of those who are really faithful to You.
On the night at Lourdes after the candle light prayers of the whole group ended before mid-night, I felt tired, dead tired I might say. My two younger children wanted to go back to our hotel. I felt the same way, but my conscience told me otherwise. I had to go back and prayed my rosaries alone. The better side of me won.
Amidst the coldness of the weather and the quietness of the surrounding, I kneeled down in front of Mary’s statue on the mountain and prayed. Without knowing, tears streamed down my cheeks. Experiences of my previous sufferings ran through my mind, scene by scene, as though they were scenes of movies being shown on a screen. Everything happened on its own without my own consciousness. I could feel Mary’s and Your love engulfing my lonely heart. My children told me tears ran down my face continuously throughout the time that I prayed. I myself was not aware of it. All I ever remembered was that my heart was filled with Your love during that time. I was completely lost, oblivious to my surroundings and only concentrated on my feelings of connecting with You through my prayers.
By the time I got up, I felt rejuvenated both physically and spiritually. I could feel the freshness of pure morning dew drops that completely cleaned my heart of all pain. It was a miracle that I could feel. I felt ecstatic beyond words!
When I got back to our hotel, I thoroughly understood what St. Bernadette had said in summarizing her whole life and her whole mission, “To obey is to love! To suffer in silence for Christ is joy! To love sincerely is to give everything, even grief!”
May I humbly add my version of love, my Lord, “To love is to sacrifice. If the suffering is the result of faith in You, it can become rejuvenating sweetness!”
The three of us – both my children and I went back to our hotel in the early hours of the new day. Strangely enough my physical exhaustion was gone. I remembered what our priest had told me in the coach. “I think God’s mission for you is to be a witness.” I contemplated his words carefully at that moment. What happened to my life already passed. From now on I’ll live my life for one and only purpose. That is to serve You, my Lord … either to be a witness or do whatever You want me to be or do. I am ready, my Lord.
That night, or morning rather, I went to sleep as the happiest person on earth :)
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;
the old one has gone, the new one has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
the old one has gone, the new one has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
Amen
A Child of God
